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examBoard: AQA
examType: GCSE
lessonTitle: Signalling Attraction
When we're attracted to someone, we often "say" a lot without actually speaking. These silent signals make up a fascinating part of human communication that happens below our conscious awareness. In this session, we'll explore how people signal romantic or social interest through body language, facial expressions and other non-verbal cues.
Key Definitions:
Did you know that over 55% of attraction messages are communicated non-verbally? Our bodies often reveal our true feelings even when we try to hide them! Research by psychologist Albert Mehrabian found that in communications about feelings and attitudes, words account for only 7% of the message, while tone of voice and body language make up the rest.
Understanding attraction signals helps us make sense of human behaviour and relationships. These signals evolved to help us find suitable mates and form social bonds. Today, they continue to play a crucial role in how we connect with others, even in the age of digital communication and dating apps.
The face is incredibly expressive and plays a central role in signalling attraction. Our eyes, in particular, can reveal a lot about our interest in someone.
When we see someone we're attracted to, our pupils dilate (get bigger). This happens automatically and is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, making it a genuine signal that's hard to fake. Researchers have found that people tend to find faces with dilated pupils more attractive, even if they don't consciously notice the dilation.
Extended eye contact (2-3 seconds longer than normal) often signals attraction. The "triangular gaze" pattern involves looking at one eye, then the other, then briefly at the person's lips – a common unconscious behaviour when attracted to someone.
A genuine smile (the "Duchenne smile") involves both the mouth and eyes. When truly attracted to someone, people display these authentic smiles that crinkle the corners of the eyes – something that's difficult to fake!
The quick raising of eyebrows upon seeing someone (lasting about 1/5 of a second) is a universal signal of recognition and interest. When combined with a smile, it often indicates attraction.
In a 2011 study by Chartrand and Bargh, researchers found that people tend to unconsciously mimic the body language of those they're attracted to – a behaviour called "mirroring." Participants who were mirrored by others reported feeling more attraction and liking toward those individuals. This mirroring helps build rapport and signals interest. Next time you're chatting with someone, notice if they adopt similar postures or gestures to yours – it might be a sign they're interested!
Our bodies constantly send signals about our level of interest and attraction. These cues evolved to help us find mates and form social bonds.
When we're attracted to someone, our bodies tend to "point" toward them. This includes turning our feet, torso and head in their direction, even in group settings. This orientation signals that our attention is focused on them rather than others in the environment.
Preening involves small adjustments to improve appearance when attracted to someone. Women might touch their hair, apply lip balm, or adjust clothing. Men often straighten their posture, fix their collar, or smooth their hair. These behaviours happen unconsciously and signal both attraction and a desire to look one's best.
Uncrossed arms, exposed wrists and palms and relaxed posture all signal openness and attraction. Crossed arms or legs, hunched shoulders and turned-away postures typically indicate disinterest or discomfort. When attracted, people tend to take up more space (especially men) or adopt more graceful postures (especially women).
Physical distance and touch are powerful indicators of attraction. How close we stand to someone and whether we initiate touch can reveal our level of interest.
Anthropologist Edward T. Hall identified four distance zones in human interaction: intimate (0-45cm), personal (45cm-1.2m), social (1.2m-3.6m) and public (3.6m+). When attracted to someone, people tend to find reasons to move from social distance into personal distance.
"Accidental" touches, like brushing hands or touching arms during conversation, often signal attraction. These brief touches test boundaries and gauge the other person's comfort level. If well-received, they may become more frequent.
Leaning toward someone during conversation indicates interest and attraction. It reduces physical distance and shows engagement. By contrast, leaning away typically signals discomfort or disinterest.
The study of touch (haptics) shows that different types of touches convey different messages. A touch on the arm might signal friendly interest, while a touch on the lower back suggests greater intimacy. The duration of touch also matters – longer touches generally indicate stronger attraction.
While many attraction signals are universal, their expression varies across cultures. In a comparative study by David Matsumoto (2006), researchers found that in Mediterranean and Latin American cultures, closer proximity and more frequent touching are normal in everyday interactions. By contrast, in Northern European and East Asian cultures, people typically maintain greater personal space and touch less frequently. This means the same behaviour (standing close) might signal attraction in one culture but just normal friendliness in another. These cultural differences can lead to misunderstandings when people from different backgrounds interact!
Research suggests that men and women often display and interpret attraction signals differently, though there's considerable individual variation.
Studies by psychologist Monica Moore found that women typically initiate flirting through non-verbal cues. Common female attraction signals include head tilting, hair flipping, laughing at jokes (even when not particularly funny) and increased expressiveness. Women also tend to use more subtle attraction cues that can be "plausibly deniable" if not reciprocated.
Men often display attraction through space-maximizing behaviours (standing taller, spreading out), attention-getting gestures and direct eye contact. They typically use fewer attraction signals overall but tend to be more direct in their approach once interest is established. Men are also more likely to misinterpret friendly behaviour as attraction signals.
The key to accurately reading attraction signals is looking for clusters or patterns rather than isolated behaviours. A single behaviour (like smiling) could mean many things, but when combined with other cues (leaning in, dilated pupils and mirroring), it more reliably indicates attraction.
Always consider the context when interpreting attraction signals. Behaviours that might indicate attraction in a social setting could simply be professional courtesy in a work environment. Cultural background, personality and the specific situation all influence how people express interest.
In a fascinating study by Place, Todd, Penke & Asendorpf (2009), researchers examined how accurately people could judge romantic interest based solely on non-verbal cues. They filmed speed-dating interactions and showed short silent clips to observers. Results showed that observers could accurately detect mutual attraction about 70% of the time based on non-verbal signals alone. However, people were better at spotting disinterest than interest, suggesting we may have evolved to be more sensitive to rejection signals than attraction cues.
Non-verbal signals of attraction form a complex but fascinating system of communication that operates largely below our conscious awareness. By understanding these cues – from eye contact and facial expressions to body orientation and touch – we can better navigate social interactions and understand the unspoken dimensions of human connection. Remember that these signals are most reliable when observed in clusters and interpreted within their cultural and situational context.
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