📜 Writing the get
A specially trained scribe writes the get by hand, in Hebrew letters, for this couple only. The Beth Din watches over the process to make sure every rule of Jewish law is followed.
Jewish Beliefs about Life and Death » Divorce and Remarriage in Judaism: The Get
What you'll learn this session
Study time: 30 minutes
Edexcel spec: Paper 1, 2.6 (Judaism)
- What Jewish teaching says about divorce: allowed, but sad
- What the get is, who gives it, and why Orthodox Jews need it
- The problem of the 'chained' wife, and how Jews respond
- How Progressive Jews differ, why remarriage is welcome, and the effects of marriage breakdown
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Unlock This CourseDivorce: allowed, but sad
In Divorce, Remarriage and Marriage Breakdown you met the general ideas: what divorce is, why marriages break down, and the religious and non-religious views. In Marriage in Judaism: A Mitzvah and a Covenant you saw that Jews treat marriage as holy. This lesson asks what Judaism teaches when a marriage ends.
Jewish teaching does not forbid divorce. The Torah, in Deuteronomy 24:1, describes a husband writing a document of divorce, giving it to his wife and sending her from his house. Because the Torah allows it, Jews do not say that divorce is a sin. But it is never seen as a happy event. The Talmud (the collection of the rabbis' teaching and discussion on the law) says that when a man divorces his first wife, even the altar in the Temple in Jerusalem sheds tears. This is a picture, not a rule. It shows that divorce is taken seriously, because a marriage is a holy promise.
So Jews are encouraged to try to save a marriage first. A rabbi (a Jewish teacher and leader) will often talk to the couple, and family and friends may help them to make peace. Divorce is the last step, when a marriage cannot be mended.
Key terms:
- Get: the Jewish religious divorce document, written for the couple and given by the husband to the wife.
- Beth Din: a Jewish court of rabbis who judge matters of Jewish law, including divorce.
- Agunah: the Hebrew word for a 'chained' wife, a woman whose husband will not give her a get.
The get
For Orthodox Jews, a civil divorce from a court is not enough. Jewish law says that a marriage is only ended in religious terms by a get. Here is how it works.
🤝 Giving the get
The husband gives the get to his wife, in front of the Beth Din. She must accept it freely. When she has received it, the marriage is over in Jewish law.
For Orthodox Jews the get matters for a very important reason. Without it, neither person is free to remarry in the eyes of Jewish law. A Jewish couple who divorce therefore need both a civil divorce, which ends the marriage in the law of the country, and a get, which ends it in Jewish law.
The 'chained' wife
There is a serious problem. In Orthodox law the get must be given freely by the husband. If a husband refuses to give it, his wife cannot remarry within Orthodox Judaism, even if the civil divorce is complete. She is an agunah, a 'chained' wife. Some husbands refuse out of anger, and some use the get as a way to demand money or to win an argument over the children. This can cause a woman great sadness, and many Jews see it as unfair.
Jews have found several responses:
- Pressure from the Beth Din. A Beth Din cannot simply force a husband to give a get, because a get given under force is not valid. But it can urge him to do the right thing, and the community can show that it disapproves.
- Agreements before the wedding. Some couples sign a prenuptial agreement, in which the husband promises to give a get if the marriage breaks down, so that nobody is left chained.
- The law of the country. In England and Wales, a law of 2002 allows a judge to hold up a civil divorce until the religious divorce has been arranged. This gives the husband a reason to co-operate.
Common mistakes
- Saying that Judaism bans divorce. It allows it, but sees it as sad.
- Thinking a civil divorce is enough for every Jew. For Orthodox Jews it is not: the get is also needed before either partner can remarry.
- Saying the Beth Din can make a husband give a get. It can only pressure and persuade him.
Orthodox and Progressive views
Orthodox Jews follow the traditional law, in which the husband gives and the wife receives the get. This is why the agunah problem arises. Progressive Jews (Reform and Liberal) believe that men and women are equal in religious life, and they do not accept that one partner can leave the other chained. Their own religious courts can arrange a divorce, and either partner may ask for it. These differences show why Jews disagree: they understand the authority of the traditional law in different ways.
Remarriage
Judaism allows divorced people to marry again, and Jewish teaching generally encourages it. Marriage is seen as the best setting for companionship and family life, so a person who has divorced is not expected to stay alone for ever. For Orthodox Jews, the get must come first. When it has been given, both people are free to marry again.
The effects of marriage breakdown
😥 Individuals
Divorce can bring sadness, loneliness and money worries. A person may also feel a sense of failure, because marriage is held in such high regard. Children can be upset by the split.
🕌 The Jewish community
The community is built on families. A breakdown can affect a couple's friends, the synagogue they attend, and the passing on of Jewish life to children. Communities try to support divorced people, but disputes over a get can cause division.
🏢 Society
Divorce can mean more single-parent households and extra costs for housing and support. Society may also gain from letting people leave marriages that have broken down for good.
Exam-style question
(a) Identify three effects of marriage breakdown. [3 marks]
(b) Choose one religion. Outline two Jewish teachings about divorce. [4 marks]
(c) Explain why there are different attitudes to divorce within Judaism. [6 marks]
(d) 'A civil divorce is all anyone needs to end a marriage.' Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion. [12 marks]
Model answer
(a) 1. Sadness or loneliness for one or both partners (1). 2. Money and housing problems (1). 3. Children upset by the split (1).
(b) Judaism allows divorce, as shown in Deuteronomy 24:1, which describes a husband giving his wife a document of divorce (1). This means divorce is not a sin, though it is seen as a last step (1). Jews teach that divorce is sad, as the Talmud pictures the altar weeping (1), because a marriage is a holy promise (1).
(c) Jews differ because they understand the authority of Jewish law in different ways. Orthodox Jews follow the traditional law, in which the husband must give his wife a get before the marriage ends in religious terms. Because they see this law as binding, they say a civil divorce alone is not enough, even though it can leave a woman chained if her husband refuses. Progressive Jews believe men and women are equal, so they do not accept that one partner can hold the other back. Their religious courts can arrange a divorce for either partner. So attitudes differ because the two groups give different weight to tradition and to equality, and this affects whether a get decides if a person can remarry.
(d) Plan. For: a civil divorce ends the marriage in law, which protects people's legal rights over money and children; non-religious people say that the law of the country is enough, and Progressive Jews object to a husband-only get; many people do not follow any religion. Against: Orthodox Jews hold that without a get the marriage still stands in Jewish law and neither partner can remarry; the get shows that divorce is serious; some religious Jews would say that the Torah's own rules, such as Deuteronomy 24:1, count for more than the law of the country. Conclusion (one possible): a civil divorce is enough to end a marriage in law, but for Orthodox Jews it is not enough religiously, so the statement is too strong. Whichever side you choose, give the deciding reason.
Exam tip
In part (c), name Orthodox and Progressive Jews, then give each group's reason. Do not just say that they disagree.