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Unlock This CourseIn Human Sexuality and Changing Relationships you met the general ideas: the purposes of sex, consent, and the different views about relationships today. This lesson looks at what Sikhs believe.
Sikhs believe that everything in human life, including the body and the ability to love, comes from God. So human sexuality is seen as a gift, not as something shameful. Sikhs teach that this gift has two main purposes. The first is love: it deepens the bond between a husband and wife. The second is children: it allows a couple to bring up a family, which is a central part of the Sikh way of life.
Sikhism teaches that this gift belongs within marriage. You will study the Sikh marriage ceremony and the householder in Marriage and the Householder (Gristhi) in Sikhism. Here the key point is that Sikhs value family life as the setting for this gift.
Sikhs also warn about the misuse of the gift. Kam means lust, a powerful desire that takes over a person's thinking. It is one of the five thieves, which you studied in Maya, Manmukh and Haumai. Lust is a problem when it rules a person, because it pulls the mind away from God and towards selfishness. The gift is good; being controlled by it is the danger.
Key terms:
Sikhism teaches that the best relationships are based on love, faithfulness, equality and respect. These come from wider Sikh beliefs: God's light is in everyone, and all people are equal.
A famous hymn of Guru Amar Das says that true husband and wife are not just two people sitting together. They are those with one light in two bodies. Sikhs take this to mean a deep spiritual and emotional unity between partners.
Sikh Gurus taught that women and men are equal before God. A husband and wife should treat each other as equal partners, with respect, and not as one owning or ruling the other.
Sikhs also believe that love for a partner can help a person grow closer to God, because looking after a family is a way of putting sewa (selfless service) into practice.
Sikh teaching sees a sexual relationship as something close and important, which is why it is linked to marriage. It is not just a physical act. It is part of a lifelong partnership of two people who are committed to each other and share responsibility for any children they have. Because it is so important, Sikhs teach that it should be treated with care and respect, not casually.
The Sikh code of conduct, the Rehat Maryada, teaches that Sikhs should be faithful to their own husband or wife and should not have sexual relationships with anyone else. For initiated Sikhs, those who have taken Amrit, sex outside marriage is forbidden. The rule on faithfulness is addressed to all Sikhs, and it is most strictly binding on those who have taken Amrit. Because Sikh teaching places sex within marriage, sex before marriage is generally not approved either.
The reasons given include: it goes against the idea of faithfulness; it can hurt a husband or wife and a family; and it can feed lust, one of the five thieves. Sikhs often say that being unfaithful breaks trust and harms the family and community.
Sikhs do not all behave in the same way. Some live closely by the code, while others, especially in modern societies, accept a wider range of choices. However, Sikh teaching about sex outside marriage is clear: it is not approved.
Sikhs hold different views here, so a good answer shows both sides.
The Guru Granth Sahib does not mention homosexuality. However, many traditional Sikh leaders, including those at the Akal Takht (the highest seat of Sikh religious authority, in Amritsar), have spoken against same-sex marriage. They say that the Sikh marriage, the Anand Karaj, is for a man and a woman, and that the main purposes of marriage include having children.
Other Sikhs stress that God's light is in everyone and that Sikhism teaches equality and respect for all. They say the lack of any mention in the Guru Granth Sahib means there is nothing to condemn, and they welcome same-sex couples in the community.
Views are changing and are still discussed, so it is important to say that Sikhs "disagree" and to avoid saying "Sikhs think" as if they all agreed.
As you saw in Human Sexuality and Changing Relationships, atheists and Humanists do not base their views on God or scripture. Humanists usually say that sexual relationships are acceptable between consenting adults, so long as they are responsible and show respect. They usually say marriage is not needed for a relationship to be loving or good.
Sikhs also stress respect, honesty, kindness and responsibility. They would agree that no one should be forced, and that sex should never be used to hurt someone.
Many Sikhs say that consent alone is not enough. For them, sex belongs within a faithful marriage, which is a lifelong commitment before God. They also warn that if lust takes over, it harms the person and others.
Paper 1 (a) [3 marks, AO1]: Identify three purposes of sexual relationships.
1. Having children (1). 2. Showing love (1). 3. Strengthening a commitment between a couple (1).
Paper 1 (b) [4 marks, AO1]: Choose one religion. Outline two Sikh teachings about relationships.
Sikhs teach that a husband and wife should be faithful to each other (1), because trust and loyalty are the base of a marriage (1). Sikhs also teach that men and women are equal (1), so partners should treat each other with respect (1).
Paper 1 (c) [6 marks, AO1 and AO2]: Choose one religion. Explain why there are different attitudes to homosexuality in this religion.
In Sikhism the Guru Granth Sahib does not mention homosexuality, so Sikhs have to decide how to apply its teachings, and they disagree. Many traditional Sikhs, including some leaders at the Akal Takht, are against same-sex marriage. They say the Anand Karaj is for a man and a woman, and that one purpose of marriage is to have children. Other Sikhs stress that God's light is in everyone and that Sikhism teaches equality and respect. They say that, since scripture does not condemn it, same-sex couples should be welcomed in the community. These views differ because Sikhs agree on the importance of respect and marriage, but disagree about what those teachings mean for same-sex relationships.
Paper 1 (d) [12 marks, AO1 and AO2]: "Sex should only happen within marriage." Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion.
For: Sikhs teach that sex is a gift for love and children within marriage; the Rehat Maryada asks for faithfulness; marriage is a lifelong promise that protects children and trust; lust (kam) is one of the five thieves.
Against: Humanists say that consenting adults can have a loving, responsible relationship without marriage; many people today live together before or without marrying; some Sikhs live in a more modern way.
Possible conclusion: for Sikhs the statement is largely right, because commitment is at the heart of their teaching. But "only" is strong for people without that belief, who may place consent and respect first.
In a "different attitudes" question, name two clear views and give the reason each one is held. Do not just say that "some Sikhs think this and some think that".