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Unlock This CourseIn Marriage, Civil Partnership and Cohabitation you met the general ideas and the law. This lesson asks what Sikhs believe. For Sikhs, marriage is more than a legal contract. It is a spiritual union of two equals who walk the same path towards God together. The Guru Granth Sahib teaches that God's light is in everyone, so a husband and wife have equal worth.
Sikhs give marriage three main purposes:
Partners support, comfort and care for each other for life.
Marriage gives children a secure home where they can be taught the faith.
The couple pray together, serve others and bring up a family that lives the Sikh way.
Key terms:
This is the key idea for the spec. Some people believe the holiest life is to leave ordinary life behind. The Sikh Gurus taught that that a person can find God inside everyday life, as a married person with a job, a home and a family. The gristhi life is therefore seen as the best way to God, better than withdrawing from the world.
Guru Nanak married and had two sons. After his travels he settled at Kartarpur, farmed the land and lived with his family. Most of the other Gurus were also married with families. They showed that holiness and family life go together.
A gristhi earns an honest living (kirat karni), shares with others and gives sewa (selfless service). Feeding the hungry and looking after guests are everyday parts of a householder's duty.
The householder also supports everyone else: the children, the elderly and the gurdwara. Without families, the Sikh community could not carry on. This is why Sikhs say marriage has an important role in the community and in society, not just in private life.
Many Sikh families use arranged (assisted) marriage, where parents or relatives help to find a suitable partner. A Sikh marriage must have the free consent of both people. Nobody should be forced. A forced marriage goes against the Sikh belief that the man and woman are equals who join willingly. Many Sikhs also marry partners they have chosen themselves. Both are accepted so long as the couple agree.
Sikh teaching gives husband and wife equal status. The Gurus spoke strongly for women's equality, and women can take every role in the gurdwara. In practice, couples share the work of earning, caring for children and giving sewa. Couples decide for themselves how to share the work, but neither partner is above the other.
The Sikh code of conduct, the Rehat Maryada, says that the Anand Karaj (the Sikh wedding ceremony, which you study later) is for Sikhs, and that a Sikh should marry another Sikh. The reason is that husband and wife are meant to share the same faith and walk the path together, and so bring up their children as Sikhs. The code also says that caste should not be considered when a match is made. Not every Sikh follows this, and many Sikhs have loving marriages with partners of another faith. Sikhs differ on how strictly the rule should be applied.
These are covered in more detail in Love, Sex and Relationships in Sikhism. In short, for marriage:
Paper 1 (a) [3 marks, AO1]: Identify three purposes of marriage.
1. Love and companionship (1). 2. Bringing up children (1). 3. Providing stability for society (1).
Paper 1 (b) [4 marks, AO1]: Choose one religion. Outline two Sikh teachings about marriage.
Sikhs teach that marriage is a spiritual union of two equals (1), so husband and wife should respect each other and share the work of the home (1). Sikhs also teach that marriage must be freely chosen (1), so even in an arranged marriage the couple must both give consent (1).
Paper 1 (c) [6 marks, AO1 and AO2]: Choose one religion. Explain why the householder (gristhi) is important in this religion.
In Sikhism the gristhi is important because the Gurus taught that the best way to God is through ordinary family life, not by leaving the world. Guru Nanak married, had sons and farmed at Kartarpur, and most of the Gurus were married too, so Sikhs follow their example. A householder earns an honest living and shares with others through sewa, for instance by feeding people in the gurdwara, so the family becomes a place where faith is put into action. The householder also supports children, the elderly and the community, so the Sikh community could not survive without families. This is why Sikhs say that marriage and family life are a spiritual path, not just a social one.
Paper 1 (d) [12 marks, AO1 and AO2]: "Religious people should only marry someone of their own faith." Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion.
For: the Rehat Maryada says a Sikh should marry a Sikh; partners who share a faith can pray together and bring up children in it; marriage is a spiritual union on a shared path.
Against: Sikhs teach that God's light is in everyone; many Sikhs have happy marriages with partners of another faith; Humanists say love, respect and consent matter more than shared belief; forcing a choice can cause hurt.
Possible conclusion: for a Sikh who follows the code, the statement is largely right. But "only" is strong, because respect and love matter and many people, religious or not, disagree.
In a "Choose one religion" question, name the religion and use its own words, such as gristhi, sewa or Rehat Maryada. A general answer about marriage will not reach the top level.