👪 Parents
Sikh parents have a duty to bring up their children in the Sikh way. This means teaching them about God, taking them to the gurdwara, showing them how to do sewa and helping them to learn the hymns and the history of the Gurus.
Sikh Beliefs about Life and Death » Sikh Family Life and the Gurdwara
What you'll learn this session
Study time: 30 minutes
Edexcel spec: Paper 1, 2.7 (Sikhism)
- Why Sikhs see family life, and the householder's life, as the setting for faith
- Sikh teaching on the duties of parents, respect for elders and the equality of sons and daughters
- Sikh attitudes to changing family structures and roles
- How the gurdwara and the sangat help to keep families together and support the upbringing of children
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Unlock This CourseWhy family life matters to Sikhs
In Family Life: Types of Family, Roles and Responsibilities you met the general ideas about families, the law and non-religious views. This lesson asks what Sikhs believe. In Marriage and the Householder (Gristhi) in Sikhism you saw that Sikhs do not leave the world to find God. They live as householders. Family life is therefore not a distraction from faith. It is the place where faith is lived out every day.
For Sikhs, a home is where you earn an honest living, share what you have and serve others. A family also hands the faith on. Children learn to pray, to sing hymns and to treat people fairly by watching the adults around them.
Key terms:
- Joint family: a household in which several generations, such as grandparents, parents and children, live together or very close by. This is common in Punjabi Sikh families.
Duties inside the Sikh family
👴 Children and elders
Sikhs expect children to show respect and care for their parents and grandparents, especially as they grow old. Caring for elders is part of sewa, because it is service given to a person who needs help.
Many Sikh families are extended families. Relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles play a part in bringing up the children and in sharing the work and the cost of running a home. This gives every generation support, and it gives children many adults to learn from.
Sons and daughters are equal
Sikhs teach that every person has the same light of God inside them. So sons and daughters are equal and must be given the same love, care and chances, including an education. The Gurus spoke strongly in favour of women. Guru Nanak taught that women, from whom all people are born, should not be treated as lower than men. The Sikh code of conduct (the Rehat Maryada) forbids killing a baby girl. Sikh men are given the name Singh and women the name Kaur, and these names are used whatever a person's family background, which is a sign of this equality.
Changing families and roles
Family life among Sikhs is changing, especially for families who live in Britain, Canada and the USA.
- Family structures: many Sikh families now live as nuclear families because jobs and housing mean relatives live apart. There are also single-parent and reconstituted families (see Divorce and Remarriage: Sikh Views).
- Roles: in the past, the husband was often the one who earned the money and the wife looked after the home. Today, many Sikh women have careers and many Sikh men share the cooking and childcare.
Attitudes differ. Some Sikhs, especially in more traditional communities, would prefer to keep the joint family and the older roles. Others, often younger Sikhs, are happy with the changes. Most Sikhs would say what matters is that every family member is treated with love, respect and equality, and that the children are taught to live as Sikhs. They can point out that Sikh teaching about equality supports women working and men sharing the home. A single parent or a reconstituted family should not be turned away, because the sangat is meant to welcome and support them.
How the gurdwara helps families
In Sikh Nurture, the Gurdwara and the Guru Granth Sahib you saw what a gurdwara offers a family. Here the question is how it helps keep family life strong. The gurdwara is a community centre as well as a place of worship.
🍲 Meeting together
Families eat together in the langar, which is open to everybody. Sharing a meal builds friendships between families, and no one is left out.
🎵 Bringing up children
Classes in Punjabi and in kirtan teach children the language of the hymns. Youth camps and clubs let them make Sikh friends and learn about their faith.
🎉 Celebrating
Families hold celebrations such as naming ceremonies and weddings in the gurdwara, with the sangat sharing the joy.
The sangat also gives help and advice. A family with a problem, such as an argument between parents and teenagers, or between a couple, can talk to respected members of the sangat or to gurdwara leaders. The sangat can also support families in need. For example, it can offer food, a listening ear or help finding work or housing for a family that has fallen on hard times, which fits the Sikh duty of sewa.
Because of all this, many Sikhs say that the gurdwara keeps families together. Parents have help in bringing up their children as Sikhs, grandparents have company, and young people feel they belong.
Common mistakes
- Saying Sikhs think the best way to God is to leave the family. They teach the opposite: the householder's life is the setting for faith.
- Saying daughters matter less than sons. Sikhs teach that they are equal.
- Listing what a gurdwara offers without saying how it helps families stay together. Always add the effect.
- Giving one view of family roles. Say that Sikh attitudes to changing families and roles differ.
Exam-style question
Paper 1 (a) [3 marks, AO1]: Identify three ways in which a gurdwara can help families.
Model answer
1. Providing langar, where families eat together (1). 2. Running Punjabi or kirtan classes for children (1). 3. Giving advice and support from the sangat (1).
Paper 1 (b) [4 marks, AO1]: Choose one religion. Outline two teachings about family life in this religion.
Model answer
Sikhs teach that parents must bring up their children in the Sikh way (1), for example by taking them to the gurdwara and teaching them to pray and do sewa (1). Sikhs also teach that sons and daughters are equal (1), because everyone has the light of God inside them (1).
Paper 1 (c) [6 marks, AO1 and AO2]: Choose one religion. Explain how religious communities can help to keep families together in this religion.
Model answer
In Sikhism the gurdwara and the sangat help families in several ways. The langar brings families together to share a free meal, which builds friendships and shows that every family is welcome. Classes in Punjabi and kirtan and youth camps help parents to bring up their children in the Sikh way, so that the faith is passed on and young people feel they belong. The sangat also gives advice, for example when parents and teenagers argue or a couple is struggling, so problems may be solved before the family breaks up. The sangat supports families in need with sewa, such as food or help finding a home. This matters because Sikhs believe the family is where faith is lived, so keeping it strong is part of serving God.
Paper 1 (d) [12 marks, AO1 and AO2]: "Religious communities do more than the state to keep families together." Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion.
Plan for (d)
For: the gurdwara offers langar, classes, camps, celebrations and advice, all free and run through sewa; the sangat knows families personally; it helps pass on faith and values, and welcomes single-parent and reconstituted families.
Against: the state provides law, schools, benefits and counselling for everyone, whatever their beliefs; a religious community only helps its own members, and some may feel judged; non-religious groups and charities also help families.
Possible conclusion: for Sikh families the gurdwara often gives the closest, most personal support, but the state reaches everyone and gives help the community cannot. Judge each argument and decide which matters more.
Exam tip
When a question asks how a community helps families, name the thing (langar, Punjabi classes, the sangat) and then say what it does for the family. Naming without explaining stays in the lower level.