🙏 Ask for a blessing
The couple may visit the vihara, the Buddhist temple or monastery, where monks or nuns chant a blessing for their future together.
Buddhism: Worship and Practice » Marriage and Death Rituals in Buddhism
What you'll learn this session
Study time: 30 minutes
Edexcel spec: Paper 2 Buddhism (4RS1/2A), 3.3
- Why Buddhists treat marriage as a civil and family matter, and what couples often do
- The main Buddhist death rituals: chanting, cremation or burial, gifts to monks and sharing merit
- How death rituals express beliefs about impermanence and rebirth
- Why Buddhists disagree about which rites of passage matter most
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Unlock This CourseMarriage: a family and civil matter
This lesson finishes the rites of passage with marriage and death. Birth and coming of age were covered in the last lesson, Birth and Coming of Age in Buddhism.
Remember from Marriage and the Householder in Buddhism that Buddhists do not see marriage as a sacrament or a religious duty. It is mainly a civil and family matter. Because of this, there is no set Buddhist wedding service. The legal marriage follows the law of the country, and the celebration follows family and local customs.
Even so, many Buddhist couples bring their religion into the day. They may:
🌺 Make offerings
They may offer flowers, candles, incense or food to the Buddha image and to the monks, and share the merit of their giving with their families.
They may also listen to advice on the duties of husband and wife. This usually comes from the Buddha's teaching, such as the Sigalovada Sutta, in which husband and wife each have duties towards the other. Marriage is not a religious command, but a good marriage helps a couple practise kindness and keep the Five Precepts.
Key terms:
- Cremation: burning the body of a person who has died.
- Impermanence (recap from Buddhism: Impermanence, Compassion and Caring for the World): the Buddhist teaching that everything changes and nothing lasts for ever (the Pali word is anicca).
- Transfer of merit: sharing the good kamma gained from a kind act with someone else, including a person who has died.
Death: the most important rites
For many Buddhists, death rituals are the most important rites of passage. Customs vary between countries, but these are the main parts.
- Around the dying person. Family and friends try to keep the room calm and peaceful. They may chant, recite verses or remind the person of kind things they have done. Buddhists believe the state of mind at the moment of death can affect rebirth, so a calm and kind mind is the aim.
- Chanting by monks. Monks are invited to chant at the home, the vihara or the funeral. Their chants often remind everyone of impermanence: all things that come into being must pass away.
- Cremation or burial. Many Buddhists choose cremation. This follows the example of the Buddha, whose body was cremated after his death at Kushinagar. Some Buddhist communities choose burial instead, so both are accepted.
- Gifts and sharing merit. The family gives food, robes or other gifts to the monks. They then share the merit of this giving with the person who has died, wishing them a good rebirth. This is called the transfer of merit.
Many families hold further gatherings of chanting and giving in the days and months after the death. The exact times differ between countries.
Tibetan customs (in outline)
In Tibetan Buddhism, the time between death and the next rebirth is called the bardo. A lama may read teachings aloud to the dead person, often over 49 days, to guide them through this time. Remember from Samsara, Kamma and Rebirth in Buddhism that bardo means the in-between state. The readings are meant to help the person towards a good rebirth.
What death rituals show about Buddhist beliefs
🍃 Impermanence
The chants about change and the plain cremation remind the living that life is short and that nothing lasts. Buddhists hope this helps them to let go of craving and attachment.
🔄 Rebirth
Buddhists do not see death as the end. The calm mind, the chanting and the sharing of merit are all meant to help the person towards a good rebirth. The rites also give comfort to the family.
Different attitudes to the rites of passage
Buddhists do not all agree about how important each rite is. This is a favourite exam point, so learn the main views.
- Death rites matter most. Many Buddhists say funerals are the most important, because they help the person who has died, comfort the family and apply the teachings on impermanence and rebirth. Marriage is a social matter and birth rites are optional blessings.
- Culture or religion? Some Buddhists think many customs, such as particular wedding clothes or funeral gatherings, are local culture rather than Buddhist teaching. The Buddha taught the path to end suffering, not a list of ceremonies.
- East and West. In countries where Buddhism is the main religion, the rites are often a normal part of family life. Some Buddhists in the West, especially those who became Buddhists as adults, may keep ceremonies simple, such as a quiet blessing and a short funeral with chanting.
Common mistakes
- Saying Buddhists must have a religious wedding. There is no set service, and marriage is a civil and family matter.
- Saying all Buddhists are cremated. Cremation is common, but burial is also accepted.
- Saying the chanting asks a God to save the dead person. Buddhists do not teach a creator God. The chanting is a reminder of the teachings and a wish for a good rebirth.
- Saying the 49 days are for every Buddhist. They belong to Tibetan Buddhist customs, in outline only.
- Describing a ritual without saying why it matters. Always link it to a belief, such as impermanence, rebirth or merit.
Exam-style question
Paper 2, Buddhism. (a) [4 marks] (AO1) Outline two Buddhist death rituals.
Model answer (a)
Monks are invited to chant at the funeral (1), often reminding everyone that all things are impermanent (1). The family gives gifts to the monks (1) and shares the merit with the person who has died, wishing them a good rebirth (1).
(b) [6 marks] (AO1, AO2) Explain why death rituals are important for Buddhists.
Model answer (b)
Death rituals express the Buddhist belief in rebirth. Buddhists do not see death as the end, so the calm chanting around the dying person is meant to help them keep a peaceful mind, which is thought to help their rebirth (1). The family gives gifts to the monks and shares the merit with the person who has died, wishing them a good rebirth (1). The chanting of monks reminds everyone of impermanence, the teaching that everything changes (1). This helps the living let go of attachment and craving (1). Cremation follows the example of the Buddha, so it links the family to the founder (1). The rites also comfort the family and bring the community together (1). This is why many Buddhists see them as the most important rite of passage.
(c) [10 marks] (AO1, AO2) 'Death rituals are the most important rite of passage for Buddhists.' Discuss this statement, considering the arguments for and against. In your answer you should include reference to teachings, other points of view, and your own opinion with reasoned arguments.
Model answer (c): a short plan
For the statement: death rites apply key teachings on impermanence and rebirth, and the transfer of merit is thought to help the person who has died. They also comfort the family. Marriage is a civil matter with no set service, so it is less central.
Against the statement: the Buddha did not lay down fixed rites at all, so none is essential (teaching). His main message was ending suffering by following the Noble Eightfold Path. Some Buddhists say customs are culture, not religion. Others value the birth and novice rites in countries like Myanmar, because they begin a child's life in the Dhamma.
Possible conclusion: death rites are the most important for many Buddhists because they connect most directly to rebirth, but the Buddha's path matters more than any ceremony, so the answer depends on the tradition and country.
Exam tip
In part (b), do not just describe the funeral. Give each ritual and then say which belief it shows: rebirth, merit or impermanence.
Recap
- Marriage is a civil and family matter with no set Buddhist service. Couples may seek a blessing at the vihara, make offerings and hear advice on the duties of husband and wife.
- Death rites: calm and chanting around the dying, monks chanting on impermanence, cremation (as with the Buddha) or burial, gifts to monks and the transfer of merit.
- Tibetan customs include reading to the dead over 49 days.
- Death rites express impermanence and rebirth. Buddhists disagree about which rites matter most, and whether customs are culture or religion, in the East and the West.