Hinduism: Worship and Practice » Hindu Marriage Ceremonies and Death Rituals

Marriage: the vivaha ceremony

In the last lesson you studied the rites at the start of life. Two more samskaras are marriage and death. Hindus call a wedding vivaha. You have already met the belief that marriage is a samskara and a sacred step into the householder stage of life. Now we look at what happens in the ceremony.

Key terms:

• Vivaha: the Hindu marriage ceremony.
• Saptapadi: the seven steps the couple take together around the sacred fire.

A traditional wedding often includes these parts. The order and the details differ between regions and families.

1. Welcome of the groom. The groom arrives, often in a procession with his family, and is welcomed by the bride's family with prayers and greetings.
2. Giving of the bride. The bride's father, or another family member, places her hand in the groom's. This shows the family giving her in marriage with their blessing.
3. The sacred fire. A fire is lit and a priest chants mantras (sacred words). The fire is the witness to the marriage, so the promises are made in front of it. Offerings of ghee (melted butter) and grains are put into the flames.
4. Tying the garments. A part of the groom's clothing is tied to a part of the bride's. This shows that the two lives are now joined.
5. Circling the fire. The couple walk around the fire. The most famous part is the seven steps (saptapadi). With each step they make a vow, for example to look after each other, to share joys and sorrows and to stay faithful. When the seventh step is taken, the marriage is complete.

After the steps, the groom may put red powder on the parting of the bride's hair, or place a necklace around her neck. In many families in the north, the red powder is the sign of a married woman. In parts of the south, the necklace (often called a mangalsutra) is the sign. These practices differ between regions, and some couples exchange garlands or rings as well.

Death: the antyeshti rites

Key terms:

• Antyeshti: the last samskara, the funeral rites, meaning "last offering".
• Shraddha: offerings and prayers made for the dead after the funeral.
• Pyre: the pile of wood on which the body is burned.

The funeral is the last of the samskaras. Hindus see it as the last offering that a family makes for the person who has died. It is important that it is done properly, so that the person's journey continues well.

Hindus believe the body is only a temporary home. The real self is the atman, which does not die. Cremation by fire is seen as a way of releasing the atman from the body, so that it can move on.

After cremation, the family collects the ashes. They are traditionally scattered in a river. The most important river is the Ganges, which Hindus see as holy and as a goddess. Many Hindus hope to have their ashes placed in the Ganges because they believe this helps the atman on its journey. Families who live far away may take the ashes to India, or scatter them in another river or in the sea. The cremation ghats (steps down to the river) at Varanasi are well known for this reason, as you saw in the lesson on pilgrimage.

The family then enters a period of mourning, often thirteen days. During this time they may stay at home, keep to simple food and say prayers. Shraddha offerings are made for the dead, such as food and water given with prayers. Many Hindus see these as a way of showing love and respect and of helping the person who has died. The offerings are often made again on the anniversary of the death.

What the rites say about Hindu beliefs

• Dharma. A wedding begins the householder stage, and the seven vows are promises to live by dharma, the duties of a good life. Sons and daughters also have duties to their parents at death.
• Karma. Hindus believe actions have consequences. Many Hindus see a proper funeral and the shraddha offerings as acts of duty and care, which they believe bring merit (good karma) to the family and help the person who has died.
• Rebirth. Cremation and the scattering of ashes show the belief that the atman leaves the body and continues the cycle of samsara. You studied this in the lesson on samsara, karma and reincarnation. The rites help the atman on its way towards rebirth or, for some Hindus, towards freedom from the cycle.

Different attitudes to the rites today

• Tradition. Many Hindus say the rites should be kept as they have always been, led by a priest, because they are part of dharma and bring blessings.
• Change. Others adapt them. A wedding may be shortened, held in English as well as Sanskrit, or the bride may speak her own vows. Some people question rites that give daughters a smaller role than sons, and in some families daughters take part in the funeral rites.
• Outside India. Hindus in countries such as the UK often hold a wedding in a hall or mandir (Hindu temple), use a crematorium and may take the ashes to a river in India or scatter them in a local river or the sea.
• Belief over ritual. Some Hindus say that kindness, devotion and living well matter more than the exact ritual.

Exam-style question

(a) Outline two features of a Hindu marriage ceremony. [4 marks] (Paper 2, AO1)

(b) Explain why cremation and the Ganges are important in Hindu death rituals. [6 marks] (Paper 2, AO1 and AO2)

(c) "The old rites of passage are not important for Hindus today." Discuss this statement, considering the arguments for and against. In your answer you should include: reference to teachings; other (divergent) points of view, either within the religion or from other religions; your opinion or point of view using reasoned arguments. [10 marks] (Paper 2, AO1 and AO2)