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Unlock This CourseThe last lesson looked at the rites of birth and growing up. Marriage and death are two more rites of passage, and they matter just as much. At a wedding two people start a new home together. After a death, the community looks after the family and remembers the person who has died. In both, Jews do not go through the moment alone: family and community share it.
Remember that Jews see marriage as a mitzvah and a covenant. This lesson is about how that belief is shown in the ceremony itself.
Key terms:
The couple are married under the chuppah. It has no walls, which stands for the home they will make together and the welcome they will give to guests. A rabbi usually leads the service, but the marriage is made by the ring and the declaration said before two witnesses.
The ceremony begins with the betrothal blessings, said over wine. In an Orthodox wedding the groom gives the bride a plain ring and says words that set her apart as his wife. The ring is plain so that it is not valued for its looks. It is a sign of commitment.
The ketubah is read aloud and signed by two witnesses. It is a promise that the husband will look after his wife. The bride keeps it, and it is often framed and hung at home.
The Sheva Berachot praise the Almighty as creator of the world and of humans, and ask for joy for the couple. They link the new marriage to the whole of creation.
At the end the groom breaks a glass with his foot. Jews remember that the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, so even the happiest day is not completely joyful. The guests then shout mazal tov ("good luck" or "congratulations") and celebrate.
The main parts are the same, but there are differences. In an Orthodox wedding only the groom gives the ring and the ketubah follows the traditional wording. In a Progressive (Reform and Liberal) wedding the bride and groom often exchange rings, the ketubah may be written to treat both as equals, and the bride may also break the glass. Some Progressive synagogues hold ceremonies for same-sex couples. Orthodox Judaism does not.
Jews believe life is holy, so death is treated with great respect. A dying person, or someone with them, says the Shema, the prayer which declares that the Almighty is one. After death the family contacts the chevra kaddisha.
The chevra kaddisha wash the body with care and dress it in plain white shrouds. Everyone is dressed the same, so rich and poor are equal in death. Someone stays with the body until the burial, so it is never left alone, as a sign of respect.
Burial takes place as soon as possible, ideally within a day or so, in a simple coffin. Orthodox Jews avoid cremation. At the funeral close relatives perform keriah by tearing a garment, showing that their grief has torn something in their lives.
The wedding shows beliefs about covenant, family and community. The funeral and mourning rites show respect for the body (Jews believe humans are made in the image of the Almighty), equality in death, and trust in the Almighty. They also support the family. The community cooks, visits and prays with them, and the set stages give grief a structure that moves from deep mourning back towards daily life.
Orthodox Jews follow these rites as set out in Jewish law (Halakhah). They keep the full seven days of shiva, avoid cremation, and traditionally have men say Kaddish, though some Orthodox communities now let women say it.
Progressive Jews keep the main ideas but leave more to personal choice. Many have a shorter shiva, accept cremation, and treat men and women equally, so women say Kaddish and count in a minyan.
Some Jews who rarely go to a synagogue still marry under a chuppah, hold a funeral and light a yahrzeit candle. For them these rites are a link with the family and Jewish identity. Others say the ceremonies have grown too costly, or that the meaning gets lost.
Paper 2, Section 3 (Worship and practice)
(a) Outline two features of a Jewish wedding ceremony. [4 marks, AO1]
(b) Explain why mourning rituals are important for Jews. [6 marks, AO1 and AO2]
(c) "The traditional mourning rituals are the best way to help someone who is grieving." Discuss this statement, considering the arguments for and against. In your answer you should include: reference to teachings; other (divergent) points of view within Judaism; your opinion or point of view using reasoned arguments. [10 marks, AO1 and AO2]
(a) One feature is that the couple stand under a chuppah (1), which stands for the home they will build together (1). A second is that the ketubah is read aloud (1), which is a marriage contract setting out the husband's duties to his wife (1).
(b) Mourning rituals are important because they show respect for the person who has died (1). The body is washed and wrapped in plain shrouds by the chevra kaddisha and is never left alone, which shows that Jews believe human life is holy (1). They are important because they support the family (1). During shiva friends bring food and visit, so the mourners are not alone in their grief (1). The stages of shiva, the thirty days and the year give grief a shape and help people slowly return to normal life (1). The mourner's Kaddish also matters because it praises the Almighty and shows faith continues in sorrow (1).
(c) Plan. For: the community cares for the mourners, so they are not left alone; the stages let people grieve for as long as they need and then slowly return to life; the Kaddish gives comfort through prayer and belief. Against: some Progressive Jews have a shorter shiva or make their own choices, because they feel they should fit each person; for people who are not religious, the rituals may mean little, and other support such as counselling might help more. Conclusion: the rituals are very helpful for those who believe in them because they combine community, time and prayer, but the "best" way depends on the person, so I think they are one very good way rather than the only one.
In part (b), describing what happens, such as washing the body, gets few marks. Say why each ritual matters for the mourners or what it shows about Jewish beliefs.