Hindu Beliefs about Life and Death » Love, Sex and Relationships in Hinduism

Sexuality and its purposes in Hinduism

The lesson Human Sexuality and Changing Relationships explained what human sexuality means and set out the general purposes and the non-religious views. This lesson looks at what Hindus teach, and at the different views found among Hindus.

Hindu teaching does not treat sex as shameful. It treats it as a natural part of human life that needs to be placed in the right setting. The lesson Dharma and the Four Ashramas explained that Hindus talk about four aims of life, and that kama (desire, pleasure and love) is one of them. Hindus believe it is a good aim when it is enjoyed within dharma. In the Bhagavad Gita (chapter 7) Krishna says that he is desire that is not against dharma. Many Hindus take this to mean that desire is fine when it fits with duty.

Many Hindus teach that sexuality has these purposes:

Key terms:

• Prema: selfless love, where a person cares about the happiness of the other more than their own.
• Ramayana: a Hindu epic poem telling the story of Rama, his wife Sita and their trials.

Principles of relationships: kama and prema

Hindu teaching about love has more than one side.

• Kama is desire and pleasure. It is real and good in its place, which is marriage. Left uncontrolled, desire can lead people into doing wrong, as the lesson Avidya and Maya: Why People Go Wrong in Hinduism showed with Gita chapter 3.
• Prema is selfless love. It is the deeper love in which each partner puts the other first. Many Hindus see it as the love that lasts after the early excitement has gone.

Hindus often point to Rama and Sita as the model couple. In the Ramayana, Rama is an avatar of Vishnu and Sita is his wife. When Rama was sent into exile in the forest for fourteen years, Sita chose to go with him. When Sita was taken away by the demon king Ravana, Rama searched for her and fought to bring her home. Their story shows loyalty, trust, duty and sacrifice. Many Hindus hold that a relationship should be built on these qualities, not on desire alone. The story is remembered each year at Diwali, as the lesson Hindu Nurture, the Vedas and the Four Yogas mentioned.

Sexual relationships: nature and importance

Many Hindus teach that sex is important because it is close and powerful, so it should be linked with commitment, love and responsibility. For this reason, traditional teaching places sex within marriage, the stage of life in which kama and having children are both proper. Many Hindus also teach self-control (brahmacharya) at other times, so that desire does not rule a person's life.

Sex outside marriage

There is no single Hindu authority, so attitudes differ.

• Traditional view: sex should be kept for marriage. Many Hindu families expect young people to wait, and see sex outside marriage as against dharma because it can harm families and a person's self-control.
• More liberal view: some Hindus, especially in cities and in countries outside India, accept that couples may date or live together before marriage if the relationship is loving and respectful. They say that Hindu values of love, honesty and non-harm matter more than the rule itself.

Homosexuality

Hindu views on homosexuality also vary widely.

• Traditional view: some Hindus believe that marriage and sex are for a man and a woman, because their purposes include having children and continuing the family. They may disapprove of same-sex relationships.
• More liberal view: other Hindus argue that no Hindu text strongly condemns loving same-sex relationships. They point out that Hindu tradition includes figures who do not fit simple male or female roles, such as Shikhandi in the Mahabharata, and the form of Ardhanarishvara, in which Shiva and his wife Parvati are shown as one figure, half male and half female. They also say that the atman has no gender, so all people deserve respect, and that ahimsa means no one should be treated cruelly.

Many Hindus agree on one point: whatever a person's view, no one should be bullied or harmed.

Humanist attitudes and Hindu responses

Humanists and other atheists generally say that sexual relationships between consenting adults are a private matter. They stress consent, respect and responsibility, and many accept sex outside marriage and same-sex relationships as natural. They do not look to a god or scripture for rules.

How do Hindus respond?

• Where they agree: many Hindus welcome the stress on consent, respect and responsibility, as these fit with ahimsa and with love for others.
• Where they disagree: traditional Hindus reply that sex is more than a private choice, because it is linked to dharma, family and self-control. They say that a person is more than a body and that sex should be tied to commitment.
• Liberal Hindus say that Hindu teaching about love and non-harm is not far from the humanist view.

Exam-style question

(a) Identify three purposes of sexual relationships in Hinduism. [3 marks]

(b) Choose one religion. Outline two teachings about sexual relationships in this religion. [4 marks]

(c) Choose one religion. Explain why there are different attitudes to homosexuality in this religion. [6 marks]

(d) 'Sex should only take place within marriage.' Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion. [12 marks]