Hindu Beliefs about Life and Death » Marriage in Hindu Communities

Marriage and its purposes in Hinduism

The lesson Marriage, Civil Partnership and Cohabitation explained what marriage is, its general purposes and the law. This lesson looks at what Hindus believe about marriage. The lesson Dharma and the Four Ashramas explained that Hindus see life as having four stages. Marriage is the doorway to the second stage, the householder stage (grihastha).

Many Hindus see marriage as a samskara. This is a sacred rite of passage that marks an important step in a person's life. Marriage is not seen as just a legal contract. It is a holy step in which a couple promise to live together in dharma.

Many Hindus teach that marriage has these purposes:

Key terms:

• Samskara: a sacred rite of passage that marks a step in a Hindu's life.
• Arranged marriage: a marriage in which the families help to find a partner, and the couple agree to it.

The importance of marriage in Hindu communities

In Hindu communities marriage matters to the whole family, not only to the couple. Many Hindus say that a marriage joins two families. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are often closely involved, before and after the wedding. A strong marriage is believed to give a safe home for children and to keep family traditions and worship going.

Because the householder stage supports the other stages of life, many Hindus also see married families as the base of the whole community.

Arranged marriage and love marriage

Hindus find partners in different ways.

• Arranged marriage: the family helps to find a suitable partner. They may think about the families' backgrounds, values and education, and some check horoscopes. Many Hindus see this as a way of using the wisdom of parents, who want a lasting marriage.
• Assisted marriage: some people prefer this name for an arranged marriage in which the young people meet first and have the final say.
• Love marriage: the couple choose each other. Many Hindus accept this, especially in cities and in countries outside India, and the families usually give their blessing.

Forced marriage is not accepted. This is when someone is made to marry against their will. Hindus who explain this point out that a marriage needs the agreement of both people, and that forcing someone goes against ahimsa (non-harm), which the lesson Brahman, Vishnu and Aum: The Hindu Universe introduced.

Roles and status of husband and wife

In traditional Hindu families the roles were often clearly divided. The husband was expected to earn a living and provide for and protect the family. The wife was expected to run the home, bring up the children and keep up the household worship. Many Hindus teach that a wife is greatly respected and that a husband and wife are partners in dharma.

These roles are changing. Today in many Hindu families both partners work outside the home and share the housework and the care of children. Many Hindu women are educated and have their own careers. Some Hindus feel that the old roles protect family life, while others say that the key teaching is partnership, so roles can change as long as the couple support each other.

Sex outside marriage, living together and same-sex marriage

The lesson Love, Sex and Relationships in Hinduism explained Hindu views on sexuality. For marriage, the same pattern appears: Hindus do not all agree.

• Sex outside marriage: traditional Hindus teach that sex belongs within marriage, in the householder stage. Some more liberal Hindus accept it between a loving, committed couple.
• Living together (cohabitation): in many traditional families, couples are expected to marry first, and living together is often disapproved of. Others, such as some younger Hindus and Hindus in the West, accept it as a step before marriage.
• Same-sex marriage: some Hindus believe that marriage is for a man and a woman, because one purpose is having children. Other Hindus argue that the main Hindu scriptures do not clearly condemn loving same-sex couples, and that ahimsa and respect for the atman in everyone mean all couples should be treated with kindness. There is no single Hindu authority, so different Hindus reach different views.

Exam-style question

(a) Identify three purposes of marriage in Hinduism. [3 marks]

(b) Choose one religion. Outline two teachings about marriage in this religion. [4 marks]

(c) Choose one religion. Explain why marriage is important in this religion. [6 marks]

(d) 'Couples should always choose their own marriage partner.' Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion. [12 marks]