Muslim Beliefs about Life and Death » Muslim Marriage: Nikah, Mahr and Choosing a Partner

Marriage and its purposes in Islam

Marriage, Civil Partnership and Cohabitation explained what marriage is and the general reasons people give for it. This lesson gives the Muslim teachings. Muslims believe that marriage is a way of life that Allah wants for most people. They call it part of the sunnah, the example of the Prophet Muhammad, who married. A well-known hadith (a report of what Muhammad said and did) says that a person who marries has completed half of their faith. This shows how important Muslims think marriage is.

Muslims give several purposes for marriage:

Key terms:

• Nikah: the Islamic marriage contract. The word is also used for the wedding service.
• Mahr: a gift of money or property that the groom gives to the bride, and that belongs to her.
• Walimah: the wedding feast, usually given by the groom's side after the marriage.
• Arranged marriage: a marriage where families help find a partner, and the couple agree freely.

The nikah: marriage as a contract

In Islam a marriage is a legal agreement as well as a religious act. It is not a sacrament, which means it is not a ritual that joins a couple in a spiritual way. It is a contract made before Allah and other people. The main parts are:

• Offer and acceptance: one side proposes marriage and the other accepts, in words that both can hear.
• Consent: both the bride and the groom must freely agree. Without real consent, there is no valid nikah.
• Witnesses: Sunni scholars generally require adult witnesses to the agreement, while Shi'a scholars do not make them a condition, but all encourage a public marriage.
• The mahr: agreed between the couple as part of the contract.
• A sermon or readings: an imam or another respected person often speaks and recites verses from the Qur'an.

After the nikah, the groom's family usually holds the walimah. A hadith encourages Muslims to hold a feast so the marriage is celebrated openly. In the UK, a nikah on its own may not make the marriage legal, so many couples also complete a civil marriage. The ceremony step by step is covered in Birth Rituals and the Marriage Ceremony in Islam.

The mahr

Qur'an 4:4 tells men to give women their dowries (mahr) as a gift. The mahr is the bride's own property. It is not a payment to her family and it is not the price of a wife. It can be money, jewellery or something else the couple agree. It may be paid at the wedding, or part of it may be delayed. Muslims say the mahr shows the groom's respect and commitment, and gives the wife some security of her own.

Choosing a partner

Both are acceptable to most Muslims, and many marriages mix the two. What matters is that both people freely agree. Forced marriage is forbidden in Islam, because it removes the consent that makes a nikah valid. A well-known hadith reports that Muhammad gave a woman the choice when she said she had been married against her wishes. Forced marriage is also a crime in the UK. It is different from an arranged marriage because in a forced marriage one or both people have no real choice.

Roles and status of husband and wife

Muslims believe that men and women are equal in worth before Allah, but many see their duties in marriage as different. The traditional view is that the husband is the provider and protector (many point to Qur'an 4:34), and the wife looks after the home and children, and has the right to keep her own money and property. Other Muslims read the same verse differently. They stress that both partners share decisions and housework, and that wives may work and have careers. A well-known hadith says that the best of people are those who are best to their wives. Qur'an 2:228 says wives have rights similar to the duties they owe. Most Muslims agree on respect, kindness and consultation.

Other relationships and polygamy

• Cohabitation: living together as a couple without marrying involves sex outside marriage, which Islam calls zina. Most Muslims therefore disapprove, and encourage couples to marry.
• Same-sex marriage: most Muslim scholars teach that marriage is between a man and a woman, so they do not accept it. Some Muslims argue for acceptance, as the previous lesson showed.
• Polygamy: Qur'an 4:3 allows a man up to four wives but only if he can treat them fairly. It is rare, and it is not legal in the UK.

Exam-style question

Paper 1 style. Choose one religion and answer for Islam.

(a) Identify three purposes of marriage. [3 marks, AO1]

(b) Choose one religion. Outline two features of the marriage service in this religion. [4 marks, AO1]

(c) Choose one religion. Explain why arranged marriages are accepted in this religion. [6 marks, AO1, AO2]

(d) "Marriage is no longer important." Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion. [12 marks, AO1, AO2]