Muslim Beliefs about Life and Death » Divorce and Remarriage in Islam

Divorce: allowed, but a last resort

Divorce, Remarriage and Marriage Breakdown explained what divorce is and why marriages fail. This lesson gives the Muslim teaching. Muslims believe that marriage is a serious contract (see Muslim Marriage: Nikah, Mahr and Choosing a Partner), so ending it is not something to do lightly. Yet Islam does not say that a couple must stay together whatever happens. Divorce is allowed, but Muslims see it as a last resort.

A hadith often quoted says that of all the things Allah allows, divorce is the one he dislikes most. Some scholars question how strong this report is, but many Muslims still use it to show that divorce should never be quick or casual. At the same time, the Qur'an gives rules for divorce, such as Qur'an 2:229, which says that a husband must either keep his wife in kindness or let her go with kindness.

Key terms:

• Talaq: the husband's declaration that ends the marriage. The word means release.
• Iddah: the waiting period after a divorce before either person can marry someone else. (A widow also waits, for a longer time.)
• Khul': a divorce that the wife asks for, usually by giving up her mahr or returning it.
• Shari'ah council: a group of Muslim scholars who give advice and Islamic rulings, including on divorce. Shari'ah means Islamic law.
• Arbiter: someone chosen to help two sides settle a dispute fairly.

Trying to save the marriage first

Qur'an 4:35 says that if a couple fear a break between them, an arbiter should be chosen from the husband's family and one from the wife's family. If both sides truly want to put things right, Allah will bring them back together. This shows that the first step is not divorce but help from people who know and care about the couple.

Talaq and the iddah

If the marriage cannot be saved, the traditional route for a husband is talaq. Many scholars teach that the proper way is a single declaration, made calmly, not in anger, and followed by a period of waiting. Views differ on what counts as a valid talaq. For example, Shi'a scholars require two witnesses and do not accept three declarations made at once as three divorces, while the Sunni schools of law differ among themselves on this point.

After talaq the couple enter the iddah. For a woman who still has monthly periods this is about three cycles (Qur'an 2:228). For a woman who no longer has periods it is three months (Qur'an 65:4), and for a pregnant woman it lasts until the baby is born. Qur'an 65:1 tells husbands not to throw their wives out of the home during this time. The iddah has several purposes:

• Time to reconsider: the couple can still reconcile, and if they do, the marriage carries on.
• Clarity about pregnancy: it shows whether the wife is expecting a child, so the child's father is certain and the child is protected.
• Calm and fairness: it stops people acting in anger and gives both a period of calm before they part.

If the iddah ends without a reconciliation, the divorce is complete and both are free to marry again.

How a wife can seek a divorce

A wife is not left without a way out. There are two main routes:

• Khul': the wife asks to end the marriage and, in return, usually gives back her mahr or gives up part of it. A well-known hadith tells of a woman who said she could not stay with her husband and returned the garden he had given her.
• A Shari'ah council or a court: a wife can ask a council of scholars to end the marriage, for example if her husband is cruel, has left her or will not support her. In Muslim-majority countries she can go to a court.

The mahr and the children

A wife who is divorced by her husband keeps her mahr, or half of it if the marriage was never consummated (the gift from the groom, met in the last lesson on marriage). Qur'an 2:229 says husbands may not take back what they have given, except in a khul'. During the iddah the husband must continue to provide for her home.

Children matter greatly. Qur'an 2:233 says fathers must provide for mothers and children in a fair way. The father stays responsible for the money needed to bring up his children after divorce, and the Islamic schools of law have rules on who cares for them, with young children often staying with their mother.

Remarriage and civil divorce

Islam allows divorced people and widows to marry again, and Qur'an 24:32 encourages the community to help those without partners to marry. After a first or second talaq a couple can marry each other again, with a new nikah and mahr, once the iddah has ended. After a third talaq they cannot, unless the wife has first had a genuine marriage to someone else (Qur'an 2:230).

In countries such as the UK, an Islamic divorce does not end a marriage in law. A couple whose marriage is legally registered need a civil divorce from the court as well, and a woman who has only had an Islamic divorce may still be legally married. Many Muslims therefore do both: a civil divorce for the law and a talaq or Shari'ah council ruling for their faith.

Different Muslim attitudes

Effects of marriage breakdown

• Individuals: sadness, stress and loneliness, money worries, and the need to move home. Children may feel torn between parents.
• The Muslim community: family, friends and the imam often help. Some couples feel judged, which can leave them cut off, while community support can help them recover.
• Society: more single-parent households and more demand for housing, counselling and legal help.

Exam-style question

Paper 1 style. Choose one religion and answer for Islam.

(a) Identify three effects of marriage breakdown. [3 marks, AO1]

(b) Choose one religion. Outline two teachings about divorce in this religion. [4 marks, AO1]

(c) Choose one religion. Explain why remarriage is allowed in this religion. [6 marks, AO1, AO2]

(d) "Divorce is always wrong." Evaluate this statement, showing you have considered different points of view. In your answer you should refer to at least one religion. [12 marks, AO1, AO2]